Oh the wonders of spring. A time to look ahead to brighter days and warmer weather. This is the season of new life and new possibilities. "Out with the old and in with the new."
It's time to clean out those old closets and do some spring cleaning. Not just for your house, but for your relationship too.
So let's dig out those "cleaning" tools and start revitalizing your relationship.
THE POWER OF THE 3PS
1) perspective
I believe that life is 99% perspective What you focus on expands. When you focus on the flaws in your relationship that's what you'll experience. On the other hand if you choose to focus on the good stuff, that's what you'll see. Of course when there's a lot of conflict in a marriage it tends to cover over all the positive like a big black cloud and you can't even see the good that may be right in front of your eyes.
This is when anger, frustration and misunderstanding can really take hold.
You need to be like strength detectives in your marriage, searching and amplifying the positive in each other and in the relationship. Start by taking the time each day to recall one thing you appreciate about your spouse. It could be something they did like putting the coffee on in the morning before you wake up. Or it could be their beautiful smile.
And don't keep all of this a secret. Let your spouse know how much you appreciate him or her and watch them really sparkle.
2) Personal Responsibility
When couples come in for counseling with me and the first thing each of them talks about is what’s wrong with their spouse I start thinking - "Uh oh, we’ve got some work to do here."
Focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse will get you nowhere and it will keep you stuck in the problem. It’s going to make you feel frustrated and more like a victim that a full participant in your relationship.
It's so much more empowering to focus your precious energy on what you can do to make positive change rather than wishing and wondering when your partner is going to change.
Be the change you wish to see in your relationship.
2) Practice
When you want to create healthier habits in your life you have to practice new, positive behavior until it becomes automatic. The same is true for your relationship. You need to practice what you want, not what you don't want, until what you want becomes the new normal.
This could be a regular Friday evening date night or a nightly walk around the block to chat about your day.
Creating healthier habits in your relationship is your ticket to a long and healthy relationship.
So, let's clean out those cob webs in your relationship and get ready to do some spring cleaning that really rocks!
Hope you found this newsletter insightful for your marriage. If you know one person who would benefit from this email you can "pay it forward" by forwarding this email to them.
Are you still struggling in your marriage?
If you would like to talk to me personally about how to have a more passionate and supportive marriage, just click here for more information about how to set up a Discovery Session with me.
