The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.
But did you know that it can greatly improve your marriage as well?
While we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain.
Most of us have acquired the habit of noticing what is broken, undone, or lacking. So for gratitude to meet its full healing potential, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things and create a new habit. And that can take some time.
That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing and to see our partner in a whole new light. We are strengthening the habit of gratitude so it becomes the default mode, the new normal.
Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.
There are many things to be grateful for: a warm cup of coffee that your spouse just made, the fact that your partner just scraped the ice off your car so you would have a safer commute, their beautiful smile, the inside jokes that only the two of you can laugh at… and soo much more. You just have to see with the eyes of gratitude.
What’s on your list?
Some Ways to Practice Gratitude
Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things in your marriage and about your spouse for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.
Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.
Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.
When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.
Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.
As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover what an amazing person you were so blessed to marry.
May you have a blessed and gratitude-filled Thanksgiving!